low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
