So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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