so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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