we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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