I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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