You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
