i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
