Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He passed out mid-signature
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
