Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
