dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
