where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
