why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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