hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
