My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
