Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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