Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
