Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
