I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
