I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
