if you like me you must not know who I am
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
