How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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