he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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