Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
