Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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