It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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