I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
there is puke in my bra ... again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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