i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
