Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's always time for handjobs
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
