What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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