theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
