Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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