stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
