I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorry my hands just texted you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
