no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
