Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
