You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
