I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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