Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
