As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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