i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
