And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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