The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
