I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
