It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
