tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
