i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
