Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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