I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
