we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
