people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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