Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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